


Cha'nawol

by Skilerc_leaf



Series: Cha'nawol [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Centaurs, Gen, Original work - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 20:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7136015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skilerc_leaf/pseuds/Skilerc_leaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cha'nawol is twenty today, and there are no stars in the sky.</p><p>"We won't find any signs today," Cha'nawol tells Se'shanak. "Cho'n has no signs for me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cha'nawol

Cha'nawol is twenty today, and there are no stars in the sky. 

"Do not fret," Se'shanak tells it. "Cho'n is not displeased. Cho'n is simply saying that they feel you need more time."

"I wish Cho'n would stop making my life difficult," Cha'nawol replies to its teacher. "Maybe Cho'n is trying to tell me something. Mn-Se'shanak, do you think Cho'n thinks I will not be a fit healer?"

"You will be a fine healer, Ya-Cha'nawol," Se'shanak insists. "Cho'n only wants you to have more time to learn, more time to grow. Cho'n is kind to their To-nan."

"To-nan," Cha'nawol repeats, doubtfully. "Mn-Se'shanak, if Cho'n is as kind to their former tribemates as you say, then why does Cho'n sometime send some of us to our deaths?"

Se'shanak looks at Cha'nawol sharply. "Cho'n does not 'send us to our deaths'. Cho'n is simply communicating to us our fates. Cho'n does not decide our fates. Do not speak so ill of our ascended To-nan." 

"If Cho'n does not decide our fates, why do we still perform these rituals to be accepted?"

It began to rain, lightly.

"You see, Ya-Cha'nawol?" Se'shanak cries. "Cho'n is upset you spoke so harshly of them. And," Se'shanak adds, "they must be angry you spoke to your teacher with such a tone." 

"I did not 'speak harshly'," Cha'nawol protests. "I-- I was just wondering. It just seemed strange to me. I truly did not understand, and I meant no harm." It turned to the dark, crying skies. "My apologies, Cho'n. Cho'n-nan will always live as heroes in my heart, and nothing else." Then it turned to Se'shanak. "My apologies, Mn-Se'shanak. I do not mean any disrespect, and apologise for my outburst." 

"Good, good," Se'shanak says, turning to head out of the rain. Cha'nawol follows. "Keep this up, and I am certain Cho'n will send a sign next year."

"I hope so. I have been perfecting my ritual in my head." 

"Only in your head?" Se'shanak tuts. "No, no, Ya-Cha'nawol. You perfect it in life, too, before you perform it in front of Cho'n. You do not want to embarrass yourself in front of Cho'n, do you understand?" 

"Yes, I do not want to embarrass myself," Cha'nawol assures. "I will practise it tomorrow, after evening mealtime."

"Good," Se'shanak says. "Remember to do it in private, yes?"

"I am twenty today, Mn-Se'shanak!" Cha'nawol says, checks flushing. "I know to do it in private."

"You did not last week."

"That was an accident," Cha'nawol squeaks, defensively. "And I did not know Nae-Lo'arnan would choose that moment to enter."

"Have you apologised to Ya-Lo'arnan for your act of indecency?" Se'shanak asks.

"Yes, of course I have apologised," Cha'nawol says. "It was terribly flustered when I brought it up to it. I was terribly flustered when I brought it up. The conversation was very awkward."

"Ya-Lo'arnan is young. I wonder if Nae-Nin'osaral has taught it about the intricacies of rituals."

"Mn-Se'shanak!" Cha'nawol protests.

"I am only teasing you," Se'shanak says, dark eyes gleaming with amusement. "For someone who wishes to ascend quickly to its next rank, you are still uncomfortable with the topic of rituals."

"Well--" Cha'nawol flushes. "It feels strange to talk about it."

"I understand," Se'shanak says. "Rituals are very personal things." 

"Yes," Cha'nawol agrees, wholeheartedly. 

The porch of the house is a welcome respite from the rain. Cha'nawol pushes open the door, and lets Se'shanak enter first. They creep past the sleeping forms of their fellow tribemates, asleep on bedrolls, and enter their room, sweet with the scent of herbs. 

"Now go to bed, yes? Remember, tomorrow is Cha'en, and you will need your energy for that. But before Cha'en commences, we will go out and look for the signs of Cho'n, see if they have anything to say. Okay?"

"Okay, Mn-Se'shanak." 

"May your sleep be deep and sound, Ya-Cha'nawol."

"And yours be peaceful and unbroken, Mn-Se'shanak." 

 

Cha'nawol breathes, deeply, hoping the refreshing scent of ancient stones and stardust will greet it. But the air tastes of herbs - musty, earthy, unlike the fresh air of the ethereal plane Cha'nawol had hoped to find itself in. Cha'nawol opens its eyes, and sees nothing but the herb-room before it. 

A bitter disappointment fills Cha'nawol. Cha'nawol had hoped a Cho'n-nan might visit it tonight, and tell it something - anything - as to why Cho'n decided it was not yet time for Cha'nawol to visit Cha'lon. Cha'nawol is tired of waiting; Cha'nawol had spent the last two years watching Nae-nan leave with their teachers, towards Cha'lon. Cha'nawol had spent the last two years watching Nae-nan return with golden rings and a look of pride upon their faces. Cha'nawol had spent the last two years wondering why Cho'n has not yet given it a sign that it was time for it to visit Cha'lon. 

It is then Cha'nawol realises it is not lying down, as it had been, when it fell asleep. Cha'nawol is standing, and the world is discoloured. 

Cha'nawol is dreaming.

A surge of excitement flushes out Cha'nawol's disappointment. A dream. Cha'nawol is dreaming. Cho'n is sending Cha'nawol a sign.

Cha'nawol whips its head around the room, as if expecting to see Cho'n-nan run out of the walls to greet it. The only other being Cha'nawol sees is Se'shanak is sleeping, peacefully, in bed. And - of course - itself, Cha'nawol thinks, looking at its own sleeping form - light, wispy, faded, like the rest of the room. 

"There's something to find," Cha'nawol says, quietly, and only to itself, as if afraid speaking too loudly would disrupt the peace of the night. "There's a sign for me to find." 

"There is always something to find in a dream," Se'shanak's sleeping form seems to whisper, murmuring words spoken only once, years ago. "Cho'n-nan. An object, out of place. Maybe you will see a Nae-nan. You will know what you have to see when you see it. Then, you interpret what you see. Perhaps it will be valuable information you learn. Perhaps it will seem insignificant. But just know that Cho'n wishes you to see it."

"But how will I know which dreams have been sent by Cho'n, and which have not?" Cha'nawol remembers asking.

"You needn't worry about that," Se'shanak had replied. "All dreams are sent by Cho'n. Even the first dream of a newborn foal that would not recall ever dreaming."

Nothing in the room is out of place, so Cha'nawol steps out of the herb-room, hesitantly, as if walking too heavily will shatter the delicate dream and bring Cha'nawol back to wakefulness.

Maybe it missed something in the herb-room, Cha'nawol thinks, worriedly, once it had stepped out of the room. It glances back into the room, looking for-- well, Cha'nawol isn't quite sure what to look for. Se'shanak's instructions as to finding the message of dreams have always been vague and unclear. Perhaps finding messages was supposed to be some innate ability all healers had. Perhaps Cha'nawol did not possess this ability. With a stab of panic Cha'nawol wonders if that is why it has not yet been told to go to Cha'lon, then scolds itself for being ridiculous. There's no way it can be missing an ability all healers had - Cha'nawol was born a healer, after all.

Cha'nawol then checks the main room. There is no sound but the soft snoring of sleeping Nae-nan, and its own footfall. There is nothing amiss in the main room. 

Cha'nawol checks the elder-room. There is nothing amiss in the elder-room. 

Cha'nawol checks the foal-room. There is nothing amiss in the foal-room. 

Cha'nawol checks the cooking-room. There is nothing amiss in the cooking-room.

Cha'nawol checks the leader-room. There is nothing amiss in the leader-room.

Cha'nawol checks the washing-room. There is nothing amiss in the washing-room.

Cha'nawol checks the prayer-room. There is nothing amiss in the prayer-room.

Maybe it missed something...

Cha'nawol cannot remember the last time it dreamed. But Se'shanak dreams, very frequently. Oftentimes, Cha'nawol wakes up to the sound of Se'shanak speaking in its sleep, mumbling about omens. Se'shanak is older, wiser, and more experienced, and more messages from Cho'n come to it. Cha'nawol feels bitter, sometimes, knowing Cho'n favours Se'shanak over it, but does not hold anything against them. Se'shanak is the better interpreter of the two of them; of course Cho'n chooses to send dreams to Se'shanak more often.

"Yes. Cho'n does not want inept Ya-nan interpreting important messages," Cha'nawol mutters to itself, trying to ignore the fluttering of its heart. "Clearly." 

Cha'nawol checks the house again, in hopes of finding something that would tell it that Cho'n still trusts and believes in its skills - but every object remains dull and discoloured, looking no less significant than they did in Cha'nawol's first search around the house. 

Are there truly no signs in this dream? 

No, Cha'nawol tells itself firmly. There's always a sign. Always a sign... but... there truly is nothing in this dream, is there? 

With a heavy heart, Cha'nawol returns to the healing-room and resignedly tries to shift back into its sleeping form, but finds it cannot. Of course. Frustrated, Cha'nawol lies down next to it instead, and closes its eyes. 

Perhaps if Cho'n knows that Cha'nawol has given up looking for their sign, they would be forced to make the sign clear to Cha'nawol. Surely they wanted Cha'nawol to see the sign, as much as it did. Surely they couldn't let Cha'nawol wake up without seeing their message. 

Cha'nawol opens its eyes. 

Se'shanak is shaking Cha'nawol, telling it to look for Cho'n's signs before the beginning of Cha'en. 

"We won't find any signs today," Cha'nawol tells Se'shanak, a sinking feeling in its stomach. "Cho'n has no signs for me."


End file.
